The 5 endings to the Tale of Little Red Riding Hood that Perrault never wrote
Charles Perrault was a French story-teller, who was born on the 12th of January, 1628 and this man wrote a pile of famous fairytales for children such as Cinderella, Puss in Boots, The Sleeping Beauty, and that first rather tougher version of Little Red Riding Hood in which the poor little girl is eaten up by the Big Bad Wolf.
As we also like to think that we have a tough side to us, that “sweetened up” later version of the Tale of Little Red Riding Hood written by the Brothers Grimm a couple of centuries later – you know the one – with the gamekeeper to the rescue and all the rest of it – does not convince us either – we decided to shake the cocktail mixer up and come up with a few modern surprise endings that we are pretty sure that neither Perrault, nor the Grimm Brothers – nor indeed, even our own grandmothers – would very much like to read.
Little Red Riding Hood gets tired of the tiresome Big Bad Wolf
Little Red Riding Hood, who was fed up with the Big Bad Wolf giving her hassle, decided it was time to let him know that when a girl says NO it really means a NO. As the Big Bad Wolf did not seem to get the message, he got a good big kick in the crotch that eliminated all further interest in causing any more harassment. (This version obviously does not need any kind of gamekeeper hero to come to the rescue).
Little Red Riding Hood changes the Big Bad Wolf into a She-Wolf
Little Red Riding Hood, with her air of being a cool cute kid, convinces the Big Bad Wolf that a new look would do him wonders and a touch of make-up and nail-painting was just what he needed. They both ended up in a cool “in” place where all the cool “queen” wolves wished to go to see and to be seen.
Little red Riding Hood hits it off with the Big Bad Wolf
Little Red Riding Hood never does reach her grandma’s house. She meets up with the Big Bad Wolf in the Wood and takes him off a dark and shady corner where she shows him that when Little Red Riding Hood wants to smooch she really wants to smooch. Legend has it that the Big Bad Wolf was seen floating in the air all the way home after his encounter.
Little Red Riding Hood plays the vampire with the Big Bad Wolf
Little Red Riding Hood was not really Little Red Riding Hood. In reality, she was a little red vampire: a very dangerous species, without any known grandma, fleeing from the FBI and on the wanted list of many countries for demonic activities and human poaching on a large scale. It is said that she kept the Big Bad Wolf in her duplex den in Transylvania. The Big Bad Wolf was never seen again.
Little Red Riding Hood gives the Big Bad Wolf the brush off
Little Red Riding Hood was never going to the house of her grandma. In fact, she was really off out for a booze up with her mates and she had a big black bottle of vodka in her basket alongside a couple of bottles of plonk wine that would be used with Coca-Cola to make some kalimotxo. She came across the Big Bad Wolf, who was all on for the party scene, but she told him he would have to look elsewhere ‘cause she was hooking up with Mister Testis the big blue bull.